Okay baby boy. I’ve accepted that you will not be coming in March (if so you better get a move on, FYI) and therefore am entitled to spend my morning quietly browsing diamond rings and things on the internet. This does not please your father—turns out Aquamarine was much more affordable in terms of gemstone push presents.
I didn’t make these rules. But I choose to follow them. This time.
Go ahead, judge me.